Birdie Girl

* Birdie Girl *

Written by Mommie
April 26, 2006
This is the attempt on my part to meet with some closure. I am a Mommie to two children, one son, Robert Jeremy, born in 1970 and now an adult. One daughter, Heather Dawn, born in 1971 and now an Angel.

My Angel Heather was a smart baby, walking early, talking early, such a bright little girl. I called her "Birdie Girl" because of the way she held her mouth when she ate. Such a sweet little mouth. I had vowed as a younger woman to be the best Mommie ever. I did so well for a while and after the children started getting older and able to feed and dress themselves somewhat, I made a grave mistake and left them with their father. Not that their father was a bad person or anything like that, it is just that when I left so did he, unbeknownst to me.

That being done, his Mother took over the job that at least one of these children's parents should have but didn't. I went to sew some wild oats and then marry an abusive alcoholic (pretty smart huh?).

Years went by and I began to realize that I was now a victim. I must have deserved the abuse I suffered and accepted, after all, I had left my children to go live this life. After some time, the old me started to return and I began realizing that NO one deserved to be treated this way and that I was no longer going to be a 'victim'. I gained my courage and with the help of D.V.I.S. (Domestic Violence Interventions Service), I left and divorced this man. I went along fine for several months and my ex and I ran into each other and (you will love this) re-married.

The abuse took a different turn this time and he had indeed stopped drinking and abusing himself but the harsh words and near-violent outbursts allowed me to see the writing on the wall. I would soon be the deceased victim of domestic violence if I did not re-assert myself and free myself of this man and any contact with him. I did just that! Proudly I re-divorced him and went on my way. I was glorious in my success and had a new and fresh feeling of freedom, something I guess I had never realized before.
I was on a roll now and knew it. Within a week I received a phone call from a young girl who wanted to know if I were indeed Mrs. _______? She went on to explain that if I were, I was her Mommie. Yes, it was Heather, 15 years old and sounded wonderful. We got together the following week and her older brother came too. It was so grand. I knew that now I was on the right track and rolling toward home. My first husband had just recently returned to their lives also and they were both estatic hoping that all would be perfect.

I had my life well-centered at that point and I too re-married, my best friend and wonderful husband, Scott. We had been good friends for some years and he had been a confidante and supporter, he carried me through a lot. Heather attended our wedding and was so pretty. Robert was out-of-pocket and I didn't know where he was at that time. We were married on June 22, 1999, a beautiful Friday. June 22nd is the first FULL day of summer and that is why we chose that date. ~ There were some very tense times to deal with as well as all of the questions to which they had a right. I had questions too. My son enlisted in the navy and after a few problems he was discharged. He was at loose ends and met a young woman at one of his many jobs and they married. Shortly I was presented with my first grandson, 'Little' Robert. They soon had another baby, this time a girl, beautiful and healthy, as was her older brother. My daughter fell head over heels in love and she too married. We had a gorgeous wedding and she looked like a princess. She and her husband seemed happy and busy.

My son and his wife began to have lots of problems, he didn't want to work or stay at home and she was overburdened with two young children. They struggled, split up, re-joined, and split-up again, this time divorcing.It was painful to watch as my firstborn struggled to become a husband and father without much guidance. I felt awful for him and watched as he made mistake after mistake. He phoned me frequently looking for an ally but I was not to be the ally he desired. I didn't say exactly what he wanted and spoke to him of my mistakes trying to offer some insight as to where he was headed. I'll continue with his story another time and on another page. ~ Back to Heather; she and her husband carried on their lives and seemed to be doing well when the bottom fell out of their cloud. They were arrested along with her father for a drug problem regarding marijuana. Now, don't get me wrong, I too had tried the stuff but gave it up as I didn't see the draw it carried nor did I involve my children. That seemed to be a turning point for Heather and her husband Bob. They remained married but seemed to go different directions. He dove into his construction business and was doing well and she wanted to keep partying (a child of mine for sure). She would go on extended trips away and stayed out late when she was home. He kept trying to corral her but she was not to be tamed. They wound up divorced and she kept after him for money and a place to stay frequently. She and I were at odds because we could not seem to keep in contact on any regular basis. I prayed she would not become a victim to some criminal and she seemed to elude danger.

I work at our local zoo and she would visit me there frequently and usually with a different young man. Soon she fell in love again and re-married. My husband and her step-father did not care much for the young man but he vowed to take good care of her and her needs. That marriage was not long-lived and she wanted to run again. I tried carefully to keep in touch with her but she became more illusive although when we were together we had so much fun. We would shop, go to garden shows, eat out and sometimes even take in a movie. She adored me and wanted to be the person she thought I was. I never felt so proud as when she was near me. I made arrangements for us to go to have a picture taken at Glamour Shots and even ordered outfits that matched. The outfits were out of stock and we posphoned the shoot and she was so disappointed. Time passed and we kind of grew apart but after all, she was nearly 30 by now and wanted to fall in love again and have babies and become something she thought I was.

Heather had this beautiful cat, Aisha, a himalayan. Beautiful animal and friend. She was a sweetheart and loved everyone. She had gotten her as a teeny kitten from her ex-husband Bob. She adored Heather and Heather adored her. Even when she was moving about from friends' house to even when she stayed in a house on which she was to be working, Aisha went with her. Aisha waited patiently when Heather would stay out overnight and once even for a week. She was hungry and thirsty but elated to see her "mama", Heather. Around the first of March, 2002, Aisha was taken by a neighbor of Heathers because she didn't think that Aisha was being cared for properly, she really wasn't. Heather was searching hard for a place to be and a life to lead and was going in several different directions all at the same time. I spoke to her on March 17th, 2002 and teased her that she would soon be older than me at 31 and we laughed about it. I vowed that day that I would leave her be until her birthday when I would go and bring her home with me and help her get on her feet.

......I didn't get that opportunity ~ on the evening of March 23rd, 2002, she was in an automobile accident, thrown from the car to lie on the pavement, one arm nearly severed and her life's blood flowing out of her. She was rushed from the scene to a local hospital and 5 3/4 hours of surgery was done to try to save her life but God knew that it was time for her to find peace so He called her to Heaven at 5:00 A.M. on the morning of her 31st birthday. As I tell this story again, here, I weep. I miss her so much. She was so much the light of my life and I was blind to it.

In losing this precious gift I had been loaned, I learned so much. She was a valuable and vital part of my life and to those lives she touched in her short visit here on earth. I am honored that she was loaned to me. With that dear reader, I will close but don't shed a tear for me ~ I was lucky to have known her, to have been a part of her life. I will see her again at the end of my life and then be able to tell her just how special she is.

Thank you for listening/reading and please try to understand that I am happy and still a "Mommie".