On January 7, 1970 about noon on a cool Oklahoma winter day, I gave birth to the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Of course I am somewhat prejudiced but truly he was perfect. All of the fingers, toes, eyes, nose ~ the whole package. I thanked God! I was a great Mommie to this little miracle. I nurtured & cared,, bathed & fed, snuggled & cooed. He thirved. A child filled with energy from the start ~ I adored him. When he was about six months old I was once again expecting, I prayed for a little girl. My little boy continued to grow and his teeth came in and suddenly he was not walking but running. So full of energy. A couple of months past his first birthday on the 24th of March, 1971, I gave him a little sister, Heather Dawn. During that time the new baby's siblings were not allowed in the maternity wards so I was separated from my first child for the first time for ten days. When I saw him as soon as I got home his baby curls were gone and he had a "big boy" haircut. I nearly fainted! He looked so much older and bigger. He took one look at his new sister, slapped her and cried for me to take him. I took him and quieted his tears and set about helping him learn to love his new sibling. With some adjustment we settled into a life of daily ritual and raising a family. Halloween, 1971 I made costumes for a party that we took our children to. Robert was a little tiger, complete with a tail ~ he was so cute, chewing the tip of his tail most of the evening. He took 1st place and Heather, dressed as a little bunnie, complete with fluffy cotton tail, won 2nd. They were both adorable and I was very pleased with myself for undertaking this project. This picture is emblazoned in my brain thus the name of this particular page since it is written about my little boy. The two children learned to cohabitate and even got along most of the time. An occasional bite with an insuing shriek became the norm and I hoped they would grow past this phase. The phase did indeed pass with time. I became uneasy and restless, bored with my life I pursued a different life and when my beautiful children were ages 3 1/2 and 2 1/2, my restlessness lured me away from my home, husband and children. My precious Mother had passed away a few months earlier and I was at a loss. I left my secure, boring life to live helter skelter for a short time and then lived with a man for a short while before we married. I knew the history of this man was questionable but my life seemed so worthless that it did not seem to matter that he had a violent temper, I thought he would never be mean to me. I thought wrong! I was both physically and verbally abused and tolerated it because I thought I must deserve it because I had left my family and children behind. I slipped into a downward spiral for quite a while and then realized that perhaps I did have some worth and my strength began to grow. I attended a meeting for D.V.I.S. that had been presented to a company I worked for. That day, I realized that I could wind up a statistic if I didn't make a change for myself. Many women don't get the chance to live in this situation. I made an immediate decision to do just that ~ live! That evening was very difficult. I had stayed 12 years too long already and the reality was going to be hard to face but I did indeed check into the "safe" place and felt free for the first time, maybe ever. I fared really well for nearly a year, maybe just a bit longer and this man waltzed past and we reunited, bad mistake! He had stopped drinking but the verbal abuse was scarring in another way. Once again, my self-worth began to wane but this time I recognized it and we parted again. This time I knew there would be no reunion. Perhaps this is far more than anyone needs or wants to read about another person's foul ups in life, we all have various situations in life and we deal with them in the best way we know how. Then again, maybe someone out there may read this and recognize themself in a similar situation and gain strength, just as I did those many years ago, and turn their own life around. I learned that each person on this earth has some potential and some are able to reach out and take control and some are not. I am thankful that I am one of the people that could be reached. Enough of myself and my mistakes, I have a wonderful life and wonderful husband now. He is so supportive and compassionate, my dearest friend. I have two children, my son, an adult and father of 8 children. He made some bad choices for both himself and his family and he is divorced, my 'little tiger' is a man. My daughter, an Angel. Heather was killed in an automobile accident on March 24, 2002, her 31st birthday. There is more about her on the page 'Birdie Girl'. The little boy known as my "Little Tiger" is now an adult and has made some very poor choices after just being released from prison on August 14, 2008. I told him that if he continued on his path of personal self destruction that I would have to separate him from my life so that I may go on and help provide for the numerous childrens' lives he created and then abused. Recently I had to take the initiative to distance him from my life. I won't go into the details but know that he was warned, many times, that this action may become necessary. I actually feel a certain amount of freedom has been returned to me. I have suffered my own self guilt over having made my own poor decisions and living with this weight has cost a great deal. His decisions may cost his life. I leave this page for my own reference rather that that of anyone else. Many will scorn me for this decision. I cannot help what those deciders opinion is. I must live and owe myself much more than I have allowed myself throughout these past 30+ years. I must live!